Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
