This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
