some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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