I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
