Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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