I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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