Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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