Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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