you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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