Your face is a jimmy john
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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