This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
