that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
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Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize