so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize