the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
