pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your cock deserves a montage
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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