eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize