why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
