do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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