is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
