I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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