he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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