Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
