she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
