Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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