This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
