I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
