So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
