i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
