the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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