It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
