Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
