Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Two words: nipple clamps
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