So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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