he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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