Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?

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  (847): so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ywt9
  Replies (53) Good night (3527) Bad night (1334)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Quick, to the slutcave!

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  (202): Quick, to the slutcave! http://tfl.nu/wu8s
  Replies (24) Good night (5784) Bad night (755)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.

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  (219): I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious. http://tfl.nu/0lgt
  Replies (17) Good night (4027) Bad night (811)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"

  (760): View more from California

  When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."

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  (760): I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex" (760): When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely." http://tfl.nu/jlap
  Replies (19) Good night (6996) Bad night (800)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...

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  (248): I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby... http://tfl.nu/0zej
  Replies (17) Good night (1790) Bad night (5686)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

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  (512): Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay http://tfl.nu/t4tt
  Replies (9) Good night (4497) Bad night (1045)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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  (973): U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night http://tfl.nu/l1rw
  Replies (3) Good night (2524) Bad night (1303)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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  (918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate http://tfl.nu/rku9
  Replies (8) Good night (831) Bad night (2876)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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  (775): The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me http://tfl.nu/fs79
  Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (586)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.

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  (218): My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery. http://tfl.nu/81gc
  Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (480)
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  (415): View more from California

  OPIZZABONMYDICK

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  (415): OPIZZABONMYDICK http://tfl.nu/43zd
  Replies (14) Good night (793) Bad night (536)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.

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  (307): he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with. http://tfl.nu/pnh0
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (470)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.

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  (406): Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video. http://tfl.nu/84d9
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (361)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be there in a few.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'M COUNTING TO FEW.

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  (814): I'll be there in a few. (717): I'M COUNTING TO FEW. http://tfl.nu/nvfq
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (361)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?

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  (505): Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel? http://tfl.nu/w9sg
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (435)

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