false alarm. still invincible.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.