seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
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We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."