That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.