Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?

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(404): What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning? http://tfl.nu/h6ji

Replies (19) Good night (1755) Bad night (746)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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(504): I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna. http://tfl.nu/vetf

Replies (42) Good night (2387) Bad night (7251)
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(207): View more from Maine

just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

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(207): just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries. http://tfl.nu/mz24

Replies (3) Good night (3807) Bad night (757)
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(813): View more from Florida

im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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(813): im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots. http://tfl.nu/i8ur

Replies (5) Good night (4078) Bad night (1587)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines

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(970): I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines http://tfl.nu/icc2

Replies (9) Good night (2973) Bad night (1234)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?

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(701): Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard? http://tfl.nu/5yc2

Replies (5) Good night (1333) Bad night (1167)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.

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(802): Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/eawi

Replies (7) Good night (3055) Bad night (659)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Cats found the secret coke stash again

(519): View more from Ontario

They owe us $80.

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(519): Cats found the secret coke stash again (519): They owe us $80. http://tfl.nu/rzq5

Replies (11) Good night (2089) Bad night (1451)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???

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(231): I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore??? http://tfl.nu/87ut

Replies (16) Good night (908) Bad night (1526)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?

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(816): Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere? http://tfl.nu/bbd7

Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (413)
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(404): View more from Georgia

It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!

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(404): It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs! http://tfl.nu/8k9t

Replies (4) Good night (692) Bad night (319)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

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(856): Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina. http://tfl.nu/1cex

Replies (11) Good night (931) Bad night (336)
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(818): View more from California

I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.

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(818): I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish. http://tfl.nu/82ma

Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (760)
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(310): View more from California

I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.

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(310): I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed. http://tfl.nu/5cad

Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (315)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"

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(256): Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision" http://tfl.nu/n4ob

Replies (5) Good night (311) Bad night (632)

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