Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
