your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
