Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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