I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
