yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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