Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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