around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
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This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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