Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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