Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
