Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
