I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
