I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize