Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
