i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
