Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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