im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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