Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
