Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
