he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
