He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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