Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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