We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
