No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize