This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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