grandma shit on top of the toilet
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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